I Will Remember

by Brooke Monfort © 1990

Answer to forgotten prayers,

you entered my wheel, my life

to pierce my woman’s flesh,

my heart, to leave me changed


Long dark braid and back to me,

I noticed you,

as smoke carried all else away.

I shrugged it off, mild curiosity

that a turned away face

could command me so.

Then, oh, moment of fate…

Raising my chin as you passed,

my whole being startled with that glance,

your eyes, your voice..one word…so much,

then you were gone.

And later,

your gravity pulling me back,

your confusion, intensity, laid bare,

in spite of your effort to hide.

Some deep instinct taking over,

I gentled you sideways.

Spirit of infinite value,

it’s alright, it’s alright.

I didn’t know what I was doing.

Your call the next day,

your voice naked and raw

across the hiss and snap

of pay-phone wire,

your confession, shields dropped,

my heart flying.

I checked it in like a kite;

too high…too soon.

Foolish girl,

I had no hope to resist

the cool blue sky, clear and calling.

I could not help but yield,

and spread myself against your noble expanse.

Wolf brought you then,

blur of Spirit mist urging your wheels,

snapping at your heels

across tired Texas highways,

‘til you stood delivered at my door.

Nervous stretch of kitchen table

as your eyes burned mine,

three times you asked,

“Who are you?”

I tried to answer, that summer.

I felt your heart’s fire struggling

against ice-storm crusted steel,

Rusted nails in weathered boards

groaning against my push.

I knew your pain as my own,

striking against those storms

that could not hold or answer.

I whispered softly to you:

There is Beauty in This.

I kissed the hidden hot wounds

you pretended I could not see;

you trembled beneath my trembling hands.

Three times you asked.

Now beyond my reach, my touch,

your choice is made.

I watch familiar clouds gather

and know: this Storm was never mine

to hold back.

There is nothing to do,

but withdraw from your Wheel,

from this Dance

that took so much,

that gave so much,

that spins me so.

Pierced, but wiser, I know,

for in answer to prayer you came,

Brother of my Heart.

Hold on, let heal,

shed tears ’til no more fall.

Pour all to glowing rocks

‘til sharpness fades.

I will remember

our beautiful, foolish, hungry dancing,

for I’ve carried you with me